Originally Posted by left footed whooten (Post 103725)

Some of us are getting our angry bastard training in now....you know, so I'm ready. Is 34 old?

Originally Posted by left footed whooten (Post 103730)

I can't trust me either.

Originally Posted by left footed whooten (Post 103737)

You're going to feel a little pressure.....

Originally Posted by left footed whooten (Post 103742)

Oh it ain't happy

Originally Posted by left footed whooten (Post 103746)

Milk and molasses enemas or VRE swabs your thing huh? eesh gross even just typing it.

Originally Posted by left footed whooten (Post 103757)

You'll never eat anything with molasses ever again....after I had to give one (I didn't think the doc was serious) I went home that night and promptly threw away my bottle of molasses. No more molasses cookies for me.

VRE swab to test for a bacteria in your, you know. The 'ICU handshake' .... 'yer gonna feel a little pressure down there...and done!' blech

Originally Posted by ShawnS (Post 103715)

Damn noobs. Go back to your mommy!

Originally Posted by ShawnS (Post 103765)

What does the Molasses do?

Originally Posted by left footed whooten (Post 103775)

First off, blech is correct, or wait make that BBBBLLLLLEEEEECCCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Yes its a powerful osmotic that will drag a shit of you like, well like shit through a goose. Sometimes trauma patients will not have shat for so long their ammonia builds up and makes them batshit confused, like trying to stand up with a cranial drain still in their head. High ammonia is not good.

Also if they haven't crapped for a week or so and they have a surgery on the way, and we've tried every other thing from MoM to mag citrate, its time to make some cookies. It always happens on thedays that they serve beef and barley soup in the caf....

One certain doctor is known for prescribing them, after all, you don't want to have gigantic BM while on the operating table, no? Sterile field? What sterile field.

In case you're feeling backed up:
300cc molassess
200cc whole milk.
Pour together, warm in microwave.

Funnel that shit in there and hope to god they will stay on the bedpan. In the two I've had the displeasure of giving, well, imagine striking oil...but not being happy about it.

one guy we had to give one was so confused and full of ammonia (critical level), that he crawled off the bed with wires all over him, a tube draining his chest cavity, IV's stretching to the max and was trying to shit into a 4' high trashcan....he wasn't tall enough. 4 hours later me and 3 other RN's had him cleaned up and back in bed. 4 hours.... it looked like a horsepen in there. Roadapples everywhere. We had no idea he even had the strength to get up because we couldn't get him to the same morninig. I turn my back to answer the trauma pager for 3 seconds and all hell broke loose in ther, so to speak.

Originally Posted by left footed whooten (Post 103776)

TMI?

You asked....

I just realized we went from cops getting a DUI, to age issues, to trust issues, to stuff going in the butt, then to terrible things flying out of the butt at high velocity. i wonder if dinner's ready?