Is misanthropy an option?
 

How about murder?

Who wants to guess what was splattered all over my car this morning?
The attached image is your only clue. Winner gets the gold star prize. While everyone takes a shot at it, I have to go spend the next two or three hours washing and re-waxing.

The leftovers of teh person directly in front of you's kill. Perhaps a colostomy bag?

Beef Chow Mein.

http://www.cynicor.com/chinese/beef%20chow%20mein.jpg

Looks like oil, or is that Beef Bwokowi?

Nobody's got it yet. . . :D

Hmm. Another clue: it's not any type of food item. Though I'd rather that it had been - it would have been easier to wash off. . .

some jackass threw a chewing tobacco spit can out of his window! (my gross guess)

lawnmower/snowblower oil.
(I love guessing games.)

Used motor oil (from a car)?

'rhea or vomit?

Leakage from a Sani-Hut or Septic tank truck? Motor home might apply as well.

Bugs... a lot of bugs. Moths...

Cattle truck?

Did you happen to drive by someone who was projectile vomitting?

Heheh. Everyone guessed some of the most disgusting things possible, but no one guessed one of the things that could be worst for my new car. . .

Here's the story:

I was driving back into Carson on hwy50, and just before passing under the overpass, I noticed a tube or cylinder of something lying up ahead in the left hand lane (I was in the right). In that left lane, and slightly ahead of me, was an SUV.

Well, apparently the fantastic human being driving said SUV thought that neither physics nor common sense apply to her and her big ol' tires, because she just ran right over that tube. . . and its contents ended up splattered all over my car, as you saw in the pic.

At first I thought it might just have been a coffee, but when I tried the wipers and instead of cleaning the windshield they just smudged it all over, I began to worry.

Luckily, I was just a block from home, so when I pulled into the garage, this brown gunk hadn't totally dried yet. At this point I thought it looked a little thick for coffee, so I started assuming it was hot chocolate or something. So I grabbed the hose and started hosing the car down, hoping that it was indeed water-soluble and would just wash away.

No such luck. So I lean in and take a sniff, and panic is beginning to set in - if it's not a drink, what is it?

*sniff*

Paint. :huh:

Fucking brown paint splattered all over my front end, on my windshield, up the side, in my grill and radiator, all over my headlights, and slowly drying in the seams of my bumper and fenders. The pic doesn't even show it all - there's plenty more on the driver's side.

Sunuvabitch.

This was about 7:15AM. I spent about an hour and fifteen minutes with a sponge, car soap, and extremely cold hose water trying to frantically scrub all that paint off my car. I got most of it by the time I had to go in to work, but I had to spend another 3 hours last night re-washing and re-waxing to get rid of what was left in the seams of the front end. There's still some left in the lower grill area, since it's textured and I don't really want to take any solvents near my car. . .

So yeah, misanthropy was yesterday's keyword. Days like that, I wish I had an invincible front bumper so I could rear-end SUVs out of sheer principle. :furious:

That blows goats dude!!!!! I think I would have killed her!!!

Weak Dude, totally weak. Glad you got most of it off.

That's horrible!

Not cool. Sorry you had to ruin your week with that!