First: I am nit picking. You look great...
Critique: OK, I can't see your head, and you may be doing some or a lot of this, but I include it for other's edification.
Turn 23: Gotta at least kiss the rumble strip. The dip on the inside acts like a sling shot, Can't see your head, but you should be looking at the starter stand before the braking zone. Part of it might have been due to the pass though. Don't watch the car that just passed you...
General: RELAX!!! breath, wiggle your fingers on straights and loosen your grip and use more of the flatter rumble strips.
1: Slow the hands down and see above.
1A: Kiss the strip
1A-1B: Turn less while car is light... wait for the car to land before completing the turn in.
1B: Use the whole last 1/3 of the strip and maybe 1/4 tire width of dirt off the trailing edge.

1C: Use the whole thing and maybe a 1/4 tire in the dirt before and after. Look for the apex of 3!
2: Brake straight into the inside strip and then hug it to the apex. (It is rough so stay off) You have the right idea, just shift left another couple feet. Eyes to apex at 3, Gas and track out more.
3: Brake, turn, gas and lots of inside rumble strip & track out... You don't appear to set the front with a brake and/or are early and/or understeer at exit. 3 is tighter than 2, braking is required. timed downshift might also help rotation at entry. Eyes to apex @5.
4: If you can't run foot to the floor from 3 to 6 a single brake (Left foot?) at entry of 4RH may make it possible. Use more inside rumble strip on right hander and Kiss the strip at least on the left after it. Eyes up th hill way before 5.
5: Anticipate and countersteer smoothly in the air, don't wait for the car to land. Eyes to 8.
6: You have time, move 2-3 feet further right before entry to be later here and then faster through 7.
7: Aim straight for beginning of rumble at 8, don't overturn this. Look for the turn in of 9!
8: Brake, turn, gas. For this config, early apex hug to 1/2 car off the strip.
9: Brake, turn earlier, gas, late apex, use 1/3 inside rumble strip.
9D?: Tap the brake, make the apex (Maybe), eyes to track out at 9C
9C: This apex/and 1/3rd of the rumble strip are more important than 9D and a must hit. Brake at 9D entry sets it up and makes it possible to power through this whole 9D-9C corner. Type 1 corner!
Short chute: Pick up T18 track out behind worker station on right.
18: Apex rumble strip! If you are late enough, you should be on the floor by then. Type 1 corner!!!
16-15A: Turn in earlier and straight line them more, it helps avoid some of the bump. Brake between rumble strips, just missing them. If you really nailed 18, you may need a left foot tap before turn in at 16. Type 2 corner... how far can you carry that speed? Great track out onto straight and smooth transition into 21! Almost nobody does that right. You could have caught the inside rumble strip though...

21: Can't tell if you really broke or just lifted. Gas deeper and brake is better. Good line, apex and track out!
22: UNWIND! and track out left! People love to scrub speed here by keeping the wheel turned right. You have tons of time to get right before 23.
23: Better, but not quite. Turn in earlier, but slower will get you in there at the right angle. Eyes down the straight before turn in really makes a huge difference! Still over a car width of track to the right at track out...
RELAX!!!!
1: Better, but hands could be slower/smoother.
2-4: Look ma, no apexes.

5: better, but slower?
6-8: same comments
9: Made the apex, but why? Doesn't look like you braked, just slower through/from 8 and maybe earlier turn in?
9D-23: very similar. 18 looked even slower. No Apex and earlier?
Again, you are doing great, and it is easy to be dissect this stuff siting on my couch.