Since Mike K. is joining us in STX, I was going to put something in the spotted thread about low hanging fruit in STX he could pick off without naming names.
blue & rice, black & nice 
but figured that wouldn't be very nice, and started thinking about jokes and thought there really needs to be some "Your car is so slow..." Jokes.
I was only able to find 3 on the Interweb, from:
http://www.geocities.com/seacow_99/old_car.html
Your car is so slow...
... people pass you on the right.
... people pass you on the sidewalk.
... your lawn mower goes faster.
I thought Scott would appreciate number 1, but knew we could come up with better ones. here are my contributions so far...
Your car is so slow...
the speedometer goes to eleven. (Sorry, Spinal Tap reference)
the digital speedometer only has one digit.
when you turn, the friction causes you to go backwards.
the Automatic transmission gear selector reads P R N .1 .2 D
the gear shift is numbered 0-3.
cops think their radar is broken.
it leaves a slime trail.
it gets parking tickets on the freeway.
you have to ask for vacation time to go out for lunch.
Your turn...