[sperry]

...Fight Club has some of the best quotes of any movie:

Tyler Durden: "This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."

Tyler Durden: "Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

Richard Chesler: "Is that your blood?"
Narrator: "Some of it, yeah."

Narrator: "On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."

Narrator: [about the soap] "Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. Lord knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them."

Narrator: "A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one."
Business woman on plane: "Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?"
Narrator: "You wouldn't believe."
Business woman on plane: "Which car company do you work for?"
Narrator: "A major one."

Narrator: "Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met... see I have this thing: everything on a plane is single-serving..."
Tyler Durden: "Oh I get it, it's very clever."
Narrator: "Thank you."
Tyler Durden: "How's that working out for you?"
Narrator: "What?"
Tyler Durden: "Being clever."
Narrator: "Great."
Tyler Durden: "Keep it up then... Right up."
[Gets up from airplane seat]
Tyler Durden: "Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...?"

Tyler Durden: "Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."

Narrator: "A guy who came to Fight Club for the first time, his ass was a wad of cookie dough. After a few weeks, he was carved out of wood."

Narrator: "I ran. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. Then I ran some more."

Narrator: "Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends."

Narrator: "I got in everyone's hostile little face. Yes, these are bruises from fighting. Yes, I'm comfortable with that. I am enlightened."

Marla Singer: "I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar."
Narrator: "It was worth every penny."
Marla Singer: "It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, and then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree. So special. Then, bam, it's on the side of the road."
[Grabs Narrator's crotch]
Marla Singer: "Tinsel still clinging to it. Like a sex crime victim. Underwear inside out. Bound with electrical tape."
Narrator: "Well, then it suits you."
Marla Singer: "You can borrow it sometime."

Richard Chesler: [Reading a piece of paper] "The first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club?"
Narrator: [Voice-over] "I'm half asleep again; I must've left the original in the copy machine."
Richard Chesler: "The second rule of Fight Club - is this yours?"
Narrator: "Huh?"
Richard Chesler: "Pretend you're me, make a managerial decision: you find this, what would you do?"
Narrator: [pauses] "Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that... is dangerous."
[Gets up from the chair]
Narrator: [Talking slowly] "And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you."
Narrator: [Voice-over] "Tyler's words coming out of my mouth."
[Snatches the piece of paper from boss' hands]
Narrator: [Voice-over] "And I used to be such a nice guy."

Tyler Durden: [to the police chief] "Hi. You're going to call off your rigorous investigation. You're going to publically state that there is no underground group. Or... these guys are going to take your balls. And send one to the New York Times, one to the LA Times press release staff. Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we drive your ambulances. We connect your calls, we guard you while you sleep. Do not... fuck with us."