What's the difference bewtween a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirtbag...
What has two legs and bleeds profusely?
Half of a cat.
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He
puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. "Mom, look,
I'm a white boy."
His mom slaps him in the face and says "Go show your father".
He goes to his dad in the living room and says "Look dad, I'm a white
boy."
His dad slaps him hard in the face and says "Go show your
grandmother."
The boy goes in his grandmothers room and says "Look Nana, I'm a white
boy "
His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his
mother.
His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?" To which the
boy replies, "Sure did. I have only been white for five minutes and I
already hate you Mexicans."
Fr. John is hearing confessions one fine Sunday afternoon when the urge for "nature's extra special moment happens". Knowing he can not leave the confessional while one of his parishoners is speaking he starts to panic. Having to crap real bad he opens the door to his side of the booth enough to see that the janitor is cleaning up in the next room.
He calls the janitor over and asks him to fill in for a few minutes and shows the janitor the chat on the wall telling him what pennance to give the sinner next door. One hail mary for cursing, two for thniking impure thoughts and so on down the list. Still uneasy about it the janitor sits in the booth and has a fairly easy time for the first few until the neighborhood slut sits down in the booth and proceeds to confess to giving a blow job.
Now the janitor starts to panic when he realizes that this item does not appear on the list of sins the priest has on the wall. So he opens the door and calls the altar boy over and asks him "what does Fr. John give for a blow job?"
The kid replies - Two candy bars and a coke...
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