Our Next President? - Subaru Enthusiasts Car Club of the Sierras

Joeyy · 2007-10-23, 05:45 PM

I'm not for anybody just yet. But if your looking for the craziest looking fucker to scare our enemies. Well, I'd start looking in this direction.

sperry · 2007-10-23, 06:03 PM

If you're just talking scary looking, look no further:

MattR · 2007-10-23, 06:09 PM

RON PAUL 08!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nick Koan · 2007-10-23, 06:14 PM

If Elected, I Will Have The Hottest First Lady In U.S. History

By Sen. Fred Thompson
Presidential Candidate
October 17, 2007 | Issue 43-42

My fellow Americans, in the coming presidential election, the voters of this nation will plot a course for the future. There are many candidates, each of whom brings a different vision of that future. But only one has the conviction and strength to lead this great country. Only one is a popular television and film actor ready to face the challenges of the 21st century head-on. And, most importantly, there is only one candidate with a bombshell trophy wife nearly a quarter-century younger than himself.

I urge each and every one of you to run a Google image search and see the evidence for yourself: photo after photo of a tall but wrinkled and sagging 64-year-old man—that's me—standing at various gala events, his arm wrapped around a stunning woman with glowing orange skin and beautiful platinum- highlighted hair. A bold woman, squeezed into a dress with a plunging neckline so low her enormous breasts seem almost ready to leap out and scream, "Hey world—look at us! We are married to a famous man we saw in Die Hard 2 when we were in college!"

That's her, ladies and gentlemen. That's my wife. Yes, we are actually married.

If elected, I pledge that same woman—who is a full six years younger than my eldest son—will be by my side at all state dinners, dressed to the nines, causing the Chinese delegation's jaws to drop in amazement at her gravity-defying rack.

This is my solemn vow to all Americans.

I am aware of the critics who doubt my ability to deliver on this promise. "What about Jackie Kennedy?" they ask. "Wasn't she a hotter first lady?" If all America cares about is hotness from the neck up, then yes. Though Jackie looked good in a pillbox hat, she never possessed that I-have-obvious-father-issues sort of hotness the people of this country appreciate so deeply. Go on, close your eyes and try picturing Jackie Kennedy on the cover of some magazine spilling out of a bikini. You can't do it, can you? Now try the same mental experiment with Mrs. Fred. The results speak for themselves.

I say America deserves hotter.

I am a man of simple conservative values, values I learned sitting around the kitchen table with my grandfather. It was there, at the age of 9, that he told me, "Boy, one day, you will find true love with a woman who will be born in about 15 years. Promise Jesus that when you marry her in your late 50s you will be true."

I intend to honor that promise.

In my many years in Hollywood and Washington, I've been with country-western singers, actresses, and models. America, I even once saw Nicole Kidman's bush when I accidentally walked into her trailer on the set of Days of Thunder, in which I played the role of Big John. But despite it all, I've grown to value and cherish my wife more than any starfucker I've ever known.

Because my wife is so much more than just a sweet slice, sweet though she may be. She is a mother who has given me two beautiful children, whom I adore, even if they do get confused sometimes and call me "Grandpa." But I know that in the Thompson household, when I ask the question, "Who's your daddy?" there is always one person I can rely on to scream out my name. This is my guarantee to you, the voters.

If you elect me as your next president, you will see this woman on TV nearly every day, jogging around the Rose Garden in tight Lycra shorts, bouncing all over the place with a figure that Americans of every stripe—from surgeons to truckers—will want to nail. Yours will be a first lady who is not only hot enough to appear in Playboy, but who might actually be willing to appear in Playboy. And if you choose me to be your next president, that is exactly what she'll do, in the November 2012 issue, guaranteeing me a second term once the public gets a good look at those truly incredible bazongas.

Thank you, and God bless America.

Full article: http://www.theonion.com/content/opin..._will_have_the

Joeyy · 2007-10-24, 04:26 AM

If you don't know what Nick is talking about...

NevadaSTi · 2007-10-24, 08:45 AM

WOW, I am confused. Did he actually write that? Or is that some joke?

If he did write it, I am voting for him. Because it damn well means that he is a real GUY, not some panzy ass pencil pusher like the rest of the candidates.

AtomicLabMonkey · 2007-10-24, 08:50 AM

Unless Fred's become a writer for The Onion recently, I doubt he wrote it.

Nick Koan · 2007-10-24, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NevadaSTi

WOW, I am confused. Did he actually write that? Or is that some joke?

If he did write it, I am voting for him. Because it damn well means that he is a real GUY, not some panzy ass pencil pusher like the rest of the candidates.

Keep in mind, this is from the same source that brings you this:

http://www.theonion.com/content/vide..._wounds_may_be

and

http://www.theonion.com/content/vide...eveals_winning

or, and

http://www.theonion.com/content/vide...most_important

NevadaSTi · 2007-10-24, 09:25 AM

I know, it is just funny. I found one about Brett Farve. So I sent it to my friend who is a Big Time Cheese head. LOL. She was pissed!

I wish a political type person would actually come out and say shit like this. Why, because it would make them seem real. Instead of the normal fake brown nosers that politicians typically are.

knucklesplitter · 2007-10-25, 02:36 PM

There's one thing I agree with the late Richard Nixon on - he said Fred Thompson was "not too bright" (check the Watergate tapes - he says it a few times). Just what we need another elitist Hollywood actor, lawyer, and lobbyist in office. Aren't those things the "right" usually decries?

Nick Koan · 2007-10-25, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knucklesplitter

There's one thing I agree with the late Richard Nixon on - he said Fred Thompson was "not too bright" (check the Watergate tapes - he says it a few times). Just what we need another elitist Hollywood actor, lawyer, and lobbyist in office. Aren't those things the "right" usually decries?

Are you referring to ex-Actor Ronald Regan or ex-Actor Arnold Schwarzenegger?

knucklesplitter · 2007-10-25, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick Koan

Are you referring to ex-Actor Ronald Regan or ex-Actor Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Duh! - Sonny Bono?

No, what I mean is assholes like Bill O'Lielly, Rush Dimbulb, etc. are always bitching about the "Hollywood elite", those damn trial attorneys, and grimy lobbyists. Well except when it fits there twisted world view. Now here we have a candidate in Thompson who is/was all 3. But think of all his accomplishments as a former senator... <crickets chirping>

badrover · 2007-10-25, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knucklesplitter

Duh! - Sonny Bono?

No, what I mean is assholes like Bill O'Lielly, Rush Dimbulb, etc. are always bitching about the "Hollywood elite", those damn trial attorneys, and grimy lobbyists. Well except when it fits there twisted world view. Now here we have a candidate in Thompson who is/was all 3. But think of all his accomplishments as a former senator... <crickets chirping>

but his wife has huge.....tracts of land. I mean, just look at 'em!

knucklesplitter · 2007-11-19, 01:41 PM

LOL - Fred Thompson's candidacy is a joke just waiting for the punchline:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvER0CZPTI0

AtomicLabMonkey · 2007-11-19, 04:07 PM

I was looking at Thompson entering the race with an open mind, but what I've seen from him so far leaves me completely unimpressed.

knucklesplitter · 2008-01-22, 01:36 PM

yawn...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...l?hpid=topnews

sperry · 2008-01-22, 02:17 PM

I'm not surprised. In fact, I was more surprised to see him actually run... I mean really, did he think he had even a long shot? *looks at republican candidates* Okay, I guess maybe he's justified in thinking he had a long shot.

2007-10-23, 05:45 PM	#1
Joeyy i can has kart? Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: CA Posts: 1,228	Our Next President? I'm not for anybody just yet. But if your looking for the craziest looking fucker to scare our enemies. Well, I'd start looking in this direction. Attached Images

2007-10-23, 06:03 PM	#2
sperry The Doink Real Name: Scott Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 20,335 Car: '09 OBXT, '02 WRX, '96 Miata Class: PDX/TT-6 The way out is through	If you're just talking scary looking, look no further: __________________ Is you is, or is you ain't, my con-stit-u-ints?

2007-10-23, 06:09 PM	#3
MattR El Matador Real Name: Matt Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Reno, NV Posts: 10,660 Car: 2012 Toyota Tacoma Class: ?	RON PAUL 08!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ "Dallas..We have a problem.”

2007-10-23, 06:14 PM	#4
Nick Koan JDM Cowboy Real Name: Nick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Somewhere Posts: 8,642 Car: 2015 Mazda 3	If Elected, I Will Have The Hottest First Lady In U.S. History By Sen. Fred Thompson Presidential Candidate October 17, 2007 \| Issue 43-42 My fellow Americans, in the coming presidential election, the voters of this nation will plot a course for the future. There are many candidates, each of whom brings a different vision of that future. But only one has the conviction and strength to lead this great country. Only one is a popular television and film actor ready to face the challenges of the 21st century head-on. And, most importantly, there is only one candidate with a bombshell trophy wife nearly a quarter-century younger than himself. I urge each and every one of you to run a Google image search and see the evidence for yourself: photo after photo of a tall but wrinkled and sagging 64-year-old man—that's me—standing at various gala events, his arm wrapped around a stunning woman with glowing orange skin and beautiful platinum- highlighted hair. A bold woman, squeezed into a dress with a plunging neckline so low her enormous breasts seem almost ready to leap out and scream, "Hey world—look at us! We are married to a famous man we saw in Die Hard 2 when we were in college!" That's her, ladies and gentlemen. That's my wife. Yes, we are actually married. If elected, I pledge that same woman—who is a full six years younger than my eldest son—will be by my side at all state dinners, dressed to the nines, causing the Chinese delegation's jaws to drop in amazement at her gravity-defying rack. This is my solemn vow to all Americans. I am aware of the critics who doubt my ability to deliver on this promise. "What about Jackie Kennedy?" they ask. "Wasn't she a hotter first lady?" If all America cares about is hotness from the neck up, then yes. Though Jackie looked good in a pillbox hat, she never possessed that I-have-obvious-father-issues sort of hotness the people of this country appreciate so deeply. Go on, close your eyes and try picturing Jackie Kennedy on the cover of some magazine spilling out of a bikini. You can't do it, can you? Now try the same mental experiment with Mrs. Fred. The results speak for themselves. I say America deserves hotter. I am a man of simple conservative values, values I learned sitting around the kitchen table with my grandfather. It was there, at the age of 9, that he told me, "Boy, one day, you will find true love with a woman who will be born in about 15 years. Promise Jesus that when you marry her in your late 50s you will be true." I intend to honor that promise. In my many years in Hollywood and Washington, I've been with country-western singers, actresses, and models. America, I even once saw Nicole Kidman's bush when I accidentally walked into her trailer on the set of Days of Thunder, in which I played the role of Big John. But despite it all, I've grown to value and cherish my wife more than any starfucker I've ever known. Because my wife is so much more than just a sweet slice, sweet though she may be. She is a mother who has given me two beautiful children, whom I adore, even if they do get confused sometimes and call me "Grandpa." But I know that in the Thompson household, when I ask the question, "Who's your daddy?" there is always one person I can rely on to scream out my name. This is my guarantee to you, the voters. If you elect me as your next president, you will see this woman on TV nearly every day, jogging around the Rose Garden in tight Lycra shorts, bouncing all over the place with a figure that Americans of every stripe—from surgeons to truckers—will want to nail. Yours will be a first lady who is not only hot enough to appear in Playboy, but who might actually be willing to appear in Playboy. And if you choose me to be your next president, that is exactly what she'll do, in the November 2012 issue, guaranteeing me a second term once the public gets a good look at those truly incredible bazongas. Thank you, and God bless America. Full article: http://www.theonion.com/content/opin..._will_have_the __________________ While a standard engine is powered by a belt connected to the crankshaft, a turbo engine runs on its own exhaust steam, making it more energy efficient. -- CNN

2007-10-24, 04:26 AM	#5
Joeyy i can has kart? Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: CA Posts: 1,228	If you don't know what Nick is talking about... Attached Images

2007-10-24, 08:45 AM	#6
NevadaSTi EJ251 Real Name: Brian Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Minden, Nv. Posts: 989 Car: 1994 Toyota 4Runner Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once	WOW, I am confused. Did he actually write that? Or is that some joke? If he did write it, I am voting for him. Because it damn well means that he is a real GUY, not some panzy ass pencil pusher like the rest of the candidates. __________________ The last living thing on earth will be me. I'll step on the last cockroach.

2007-10-24, 08:50 AM	#7
AtomicLabMonkey Nightwalker Real Name: Austin Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Oshkosh, WI Posts: 4,063 Car: '13 WRX YGBSM	Unless Fred's become a writer for The Onion recently, I doubt he wrote it. __________________ "None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you.. you're locked in here with me."

2007-10-24, 09:25 AM	#9
NevadaSTi EJ251 Real Name: Brian Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Minden, Nv. Posts: 989 Car: 1994 Toyota 4Runner Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once	I know, it is just funny. I found one about Brett Farve. So I sent it to my friend who is a Big Time Cheese head. LOL. She was pissed! I wish a political type person would actually come out and say shit like this. Why, because it would make them seem real. Instead of the normal fake brown nosers that politicians typically are. __________________ The last living thing on earth will be me. I'll step on the last cockroach.

2007-10-25, 02:36 PM	#10
knucklesplitter EJ205 Real Name: Matt Taylor Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Cousin-Fck, Carolina Posts: 1,474 Wish in one hand and sht in the other...	There's one thing I agree with the late Richard Nixon on - he said Fred Thompson was "not too bright" (check the Watergate tapes - he says it a few times). Just what we need another elitist Hollywood actor, lawyer, and lobbyist in office. Aren't those things the "right" usually decries?

2007-11-19, 01:41 PM	#14
knucklesplitter EJ205 Real Name: Matt Taylor Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Cousin-Fck, Carolina Posts: 1,474 Wish in one hand and sht in the other...	LOL - Fred Thompson's candidacy is a joke just waiting for the punchline: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvER0CZPTI0

2007-11-19, 04:07 PM	#15
AtomicLabMonkey Nightwalker Real Name: Austin Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Oshkosh, WI Posts: 4,063 Car: '13 WRX YGBSM	I was looking at Thompson entering the race with an open mind, but what I've seen from him so far leaves me completely unimpressed. __________________ "None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you.. you're locked in here with me."

2008-01-22, 01:36 PM	#16
knucklesplitter EJ205 Real Name: Matt Taylor Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Cousin-Fck, Carolina Posts: 1,474 Wish in one hand and sht in the other...	yawn... http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...l?hpid=topnews

2008-01-22, 02:17 PM	#17
sperry The Doink Real Name: Scott Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 20,335 Car: '09 OBXT, '02 WRX, '96 Miata Class: PDX/TT-6 The way out is through	I'm not surprised. In fact, I was more surprised to see him actually run... I mean really, did he think he had even a long shot? looks at republican candidates Okay, I guess maybe he's justified in thinking he had a long shot. __________________ Is you is, or is you ain't, my con-stit-u-ints?