The Onion - Page 2 - Subaru Enthusiasts Car Club of the Sierras

Nick Koan · 2008-05-01, 08:13 AM

This one is just tasteless (and hilarious).

-- (looks like the video was deleted) --

Nick Koan · 2008-06-02, 06:49 PM

This one is so gross its awesome

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less \| The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Nick Koan · 2008-06-05, 07:45 PM

Evil Red Wings Owner Wario Lemieux Steals Stanley Cup

MikeK · 2008-06-09, 03:34 PM

'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft' \| The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Nick Koan · 2008-06-26, 11:49 AM

Video:

Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election \| The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Nick Koan · 2008-07-22, 03:26 PM

Video:

Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat \| The Onion - America's Finest News Source

JonnydaJibba · 2008-07-25, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick Koan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-u8oyZAgeY

The Onion: The Movie

YES!

That movie was great.

"Naw BITCH, I ain't here to rob you! I want a mothafuckin job!"

Nick Koan · 2008-07-25, 09:21 AM

"How's a brother supposed to make his way in this world on handouts? I need job skills motherfucker"

MikeK · 2008-09-18, 09:12 AM

Seize the day!

Nick Koan · 2009-01-05, 05:18 PM

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard \| The Onion - America's Finest News Source

100_Percent_Juice · 2009-01-05, 07:02 PM

"police warn that the SUDOKU killer will kill either 1, 4, or 9 victims next."

MikeK · 2009-05-05, 09:27 AM

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable' \| The Onion - America's Finest News Source

supraluke · 2009-05-08, 07:02 PM

The one on the ninja parade was the best. I still laugh just thinking about it.

Dean · 2009-05-19, 06:43 PM

Dorm Fire:

Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire \| The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Nick Koan · 2009-06-30, 08:39 AM

I don't know why the Fast Food ones are so interesting to me:

Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature \| The Onion - America's Finest News Source

sybir · 2009-06-30, 08:52 AM

Because they're too close to true stories

Nick Koan · 2009-07-07, 08:54 AM

Biden Requests To Be Named Special Envoy To Reno

WASHINGTON—Saying there are national security matters that "need sorting out down there," Vice President Joe Biden requested Friday an appointment as special envoy to the city of Reno, NV. Saying he had already done some of the preliminary work necessary to establish relations with the city, Biden assured President Obama that he had even made significant headway with a local dignitary named Candi. "Though the United States has not, historically, found it necessary to establish diplomatic relations within our own boundaries, the vice president did make a very convincing argument," White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel said. "Although I'm not sure why he was so insistent about getting diplomatic immunity for the weekend." While Obama was noncommittal about the appointment, he did grant Biden the special 26E2BVP license plate the vice president had been asking about for months.

Dean · 2009-08-17, 06:36 PM

Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women \| The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Pretty funny stuff if you know about the PETA ads

100_Percent_Juice · 2009-08-17, 07:21 PM

I'd rather be raped than wear fur.

Nick Koan · 2009-10-28, 09:28 AM

Meth Addicts Demand Government Address Nation's Growing Spider Menace

sybir · 2009-10-28, 09:41 AM

Tweaker's Rights Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now!

Nick Koan · 2009-10-28, 09:44 AM

A 45,000-word proposal was drafted by members of TRN during a marathon, 72-hour meeting under the Roosevelt Bridge, and presented twice to the Senate Indian Affairs Committee. The document, which includes schematics for the development of a giant "spider bomb" the size of Rhode Island, concludes repeatedly that the problem would best be combated with large quantities of methamphetamines and steel wool.

Nick Koan · 2010-03-11, 03:11 PM

Fork Manufacturer Introduces Fifth Tine To Accommodate Growing American Mouthfuls

Quote:

EVANSVILLE, IN—In an effort to keep pace with the rapid growth of American mouthfuls, flatware manufacturer KitchenMaster announced yesterday the addition of a fifth tine to its line of dinner forks. "These days, a traditional four-tined fork is just not enough to handle the quantities of food people shove down their throats," said company spokesman Ken Krimstein, holding up a fork supporting six separate tortellini, two turkey sausages, and some mashed potatoes. "To stay relevant to our customer base and bring back some of those who have given up on using utensils entirely, this was an adjustment we just had to make." Krimstein added that the augmented forks would soon be followed by 25 percent deeper spoons and 3-gallon gravy boats.

cody · 2010-03-11, 05:04 PM

Sweet, I can stop using a pitch fork!

Nick Koan · 2011-04-26, 10:17 AM

I thought this one was pretty funny

Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five"

http://www.theonion.com/video/today-...iter-of,20188/

(though, funnier in concept than in execution, which is true for a lot of The Onion)

2008-05-01, 08:13 AM	#26
Nick Koan JDM Cowboy Real Name: Nick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Somewhere Posts: 8,642 Car: 2015 Mazda 3	This one is just tasteless (and hilarious). -- (looks like the video was deleted) -- __________________ While a standard engine is powered by a belt connected to the crankshaft, a turbo engine runs on its own exhaust steam, making it more energy efficient. -- CNN Last edited by Nick Koan; 2010-03-11 at 03:08 PM.

2008-06-05, 07:45 PM	#28
Nick Koan JDM Cowboy Real Name: Nick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Somewhere Posts: 8,642 Car: 2015 Mazda 3	Evil Red Wings Owner Wario Lemieux Steals Stanley Cup Attached Images __________________ While a standard engine is powered by a belt connected to the crankshaft, a turbo engine runs on its own exhaust steam, making it more energy efficient. -- CNN

2008-07-25, 09:21 AM	#33
Nick Koan JDM Cowboy Real Name: Nick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Somewhere Posts: 8,642 Car: 2015 Mazda 3	"How's a brother supposed to make his way in this world on handouts? I need job skills motherfucker" __________________ While a standard engine is powered by a belt connected to the crankshaft, a turbo engine runs on its own exhaust steam, making it more energy efficient. -- CNN

2009-01-05, 07:02 PM	#36
100_Percent_Juice (40 percent vodka) Real Name: Joel Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Reno, NV Posts: 4,446 Car: 2004WRX Class: Baby-Hauler/GroceryGetter	"police warn that the SUDOKU killer will kill either 1, 4, or 9 victims next." __________________ "A power nap is when you sleep on someone who is weaker than you." - Dimitri Martin

2009-06-30, 08:52 AM	#41
sybir The Don Real Name: Aaron Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Sacramento Posts: 3,097 Car: '97 Legacy / '05 FXT Class: low	Because they're too close to true stories __________________ Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

2008-09-18, 09:12 AM	#34
MikeK Captain Turbo Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Reno Posts: 3,318 Car: 05 STi	Seize the day!

2009-05-08, 07:02 PM	#38
supraluke EJ18 Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 42 Car: 2007 Subaru WRB STi	The one on the ninja parade was the best. I still laugh just thinking about it.

2009-07-07, 08:54 AM	#42
Nick Koan JDM Cowboy Real Name: Nick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Somewhere Posts: 8,642 Car: 2015 Mazda 3	Biden Requests To Be Named Special Envoy To Reno WASHINGTON—Saying there are national security matters that "need sorting out down there," Vice President Joe Biden requested Friday an appointment as special envoy to the city of Reno, NV. Saying he had already done some of the preliminary work necessary to establish relations with the city, Biden assured President Obama that he had even made significant headway with a local dignitary named Candi. "Though the United States has not, historically, found it necessary to establish diplomatic relations within our own boundaries, the vice president did make a very convincing argument," White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel said. "Although I'm not sure why he was so insistent about getting diplomatic immunity for the weekend." While Obama was noncommittal about the appointment, he did grant Biden the special 26E2BVP license plate the vice president had been asking about for months. __________________ While a standard engine is powered by a belt connected to the crankshaft, a turbo engine runs on its own exhaust steam, making it more energy efficient. -- CNN

2009-08-17, 07:21 PM	#44
100_Percent_Juice (40 percent vodka) Real Name: Joel Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Reno, NV Posts: 4,446 Car: 2004WRX Class: Baby-Hauler/GroceryGetter	I'd rather be raped than wear fur. __________________ "A power nap is when you sleep on someone who is weaker than you." - Dimitri Martin

2009-10-28, 09:28 AM	#45
Nick Koan JDM Cowboy Real Name: Nick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Somewhere Posts: 8,642 Car: 2015 Mazda 3	Meth Addicts Demand Government Address Nation's Growing Spider Menace __________________ While a standard engine is powered by a belt connected to the crankshaft, a turbo engine runs on its own exhaust steam, making it more energy efficient. -- CNN

2009-10-28, 09:41 AM	#46
sybir The Don Real Name: Aaron Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Sacramento Posts: 3,097 Car: '97 Legacy / '05 FXT Class: low	Tweaker's Rights Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now! __________________ Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

2009-10-28, 09:44 AM	#47
Nick Koan JDM Cowboy Real Name: Nick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Somewhere Posts: 8,642 Car: 2015 Mazda 3	A 45,000-word proposal was drafted by members of TRN during a marathon, 72-hour meeting under the Roosevelt Bridge, and presented twice to the Senate Indian Affairs Committee. The document, which includes schematics for the development of a giant "spider bomb" the size of Rhode Island, concludes repeatedly that the problem would best be combated with large quantities of methamphetamines and steel wool. __________________ While a standard engine is powered by a belt connected to the crankshaft, a turbo engine runs on its own exhaust steam, making it more energy efficient. -- CNN

2010-03-11, 05:04 PM	#49
cody Candy Mountain Real Name: Cody Join Date: May 2005 Location: Californication Posts: 7,751 Car: 03 Pussy Wagon, now with more pink! Class: TESP OMG Internet!	Sweet, I can stop using a pitch fork! __________________ Slow and low, that is the tempo.

2011-04-26, 10:17 AM	#50
Nick Koan JDM Cowboy Real Name: Nick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Somewhere Posts: 8,642 Car: 2015 Mazda 3	I thought this one was pretty funny Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five" http://www.theonion.com/video/today-...iter-of,20188/ (though, funnier in concept than in execution, which is true for a lot of The Onion) __________________ While a standard engine is powered by a belt connected to the crankshaft, a turbo engine runs on its own exhaust steam, making it more energy efficient. -- CNN Last edited by Nick Koan; 2011-04-26 at 10:19 AM.